What Is a Grandparent, Without Their Grandchildren?
Posted: Tuesday, May 12, 2009
by Sandra E. Graham
My Books and Articles
The quietness is a deafening roar-all in my head. The emptiness crowds around me as I go from room to room, picking up forgotten toys. Putting away memories. Tiny fingerprints and smudges have all been wiped away, leaving the windows and sliding-glass doors to sparkle in the early morning sun. Too much time on my hands, I have cleaned and cleaned again.
I took him at 3-weeks-old to Sunday School for the first time, and every Sunday thereafter. Til' now.
Although I have other grandchildren-some far away, some not so far-but they have outgrown the need of a doting grandmother. They have their friends, their hobbies, their individual interests that don't often include an old woman and her eccentricities. Our babies grow up all too soon. Of course, we know that they still love us, but it's a different type of love from that which radiated from them while they were very young.
They could make you feel like the most beautiful movie star with just one look, or the wisest person on earth with just one word. Honesty and sensitivity is all they know. There is no pretense when they put their tiny hand in yours and say, "I love you, Grannie." Or, "I love you, Papa." Taking second place only to Mommy and Daddy.
But, as with their parents before them, you have to let them go and spend your days wiping the dust from their picture frames on the walls and your nights looking through old photo albums. Remember this birthday and that school play? Three-year-old Cheyanne falling asleep, dressed as an angel in the Christmas play-we still see her on old reruns of America 's Funniest Home Videos- Really.
So, What is a Grandparent, without their Grandchildren? I can't speak for all grandparents, but in my case it is a very lonely person who misses her grandchildren when they aren't asking for milk and cookies or one more strawberry twisler or "can I sleep with you tonight, Grannie?" Or, "can I have one small toy, Papa?" as we walk through Walmart on any given day.
I have been blessed in this life with many joys, but my greatest has been my grandchildren. Now, if you will excuse an old lady while she makes another phone call to Russellville and then prepares for a date with her Granddaughter's English Class to talk with the students about her books and writings-maybe I'm still needed after all.
This Article has been viewed 1,889 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsI have two very beautiful little Granddaughters who call me "Papa". They live in the same small town as I do and I feel blessed.When my son was four years old and my daughter was two years old, we moved 700 miles away from my mother and dad. We never thought anything of it, and it is only now that I realize just how traumatic that must have been for my parents, to have their grandkids move so far away.I felt the same way, David, when I moved hundreds of miles away from my parents without a second thought. And yes, now I know how they felt.Thanks for reading and commenting.Sandra
Hey Sandra, on my long drive back from California I stopped in Russelville, Ark. What a beautiful place! I hope we are talking about the same one as the people I know from there can live anywhere in the world they want (MONEY, and lots of it!) but choose to live in Russelville...Maybe you should pack up and move there too!I know how much you love those grandbabies and I think I mentioned one time that they were your security blanket, remember? I feel your sorrow and know how important that grandson is to.You wrote this piece so beautifully and my own heart aches for you! Please take care of yourself and go see that grandbaby and let us all know what happens, lolThank you so much, Myla. We are considering putting our house up for sale and moving there. Russellville is a beautiful place--lots of lakes and parks. My daughter-in-law has been told that they are planning on building her a new and bigger store, so who knows. It just sounds like a good place to move to.Sandra
You are needed more than ever, Sandra.Wonderful story.Thank you, Ken---I needed that.Sandra
I loved this article. Wonderful reading.BSJThank you so much for reading and commenting.BJ
Hugs to you Sandra!Our grand-girls are also about two and half hours away. My oldest ones are going to be 9 this year, and they email us, so that is fun.And this summer those two are coming for a week with us which we're looking forward to a lot.The thing is, when they are so far away, and you get to see them less often, I think (we at least) appreciate and cherish the time together all the more.NThat's right, Nila. Ours will be coming for a couple of weeks after we open the pool for the summer. They always look forward to that.Thanks for reading and commenting.Sandra
Thanks for bringing simplicity back.Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Dr. R.Sandra
Dear Sandra,You've captured in words the feelings many grandparents have when their "babies" aren't living nearby. There is no substitute for the unselfish love of a young grandchild. They love unconditionally and accept your love without fear or reservation.Here's hoping the little ones will be able to come often for visits--or perhaps a twist of fate will bring them back to your hometown one day soon.Best wishes always.GrammyActually, I'm considering moving there. Thanks for reading and commenting, Grammy.SandraHow wonderful would that be! That grandson will be in seventh heaven again.
Ms. Sandra,Very touching write. Although I don't have any children, I can understand your story and feel your void ... ironic, but true. I can tell your grandson wasn't just the light of your life, but your buddy as well. I'm sure you're going to miss him. Thanks for sharing your story.Thanks, Ronyae. And you're right, he was more than a grandson, he was a buddy.Sandra
I loved your article and can feel your pain. I moved away from my family 8 years ago and I think it was the worst decision of my life. I have missed so much and now I have great grandbabies I haven't seen. We are trying to sell our house and will be moving closer to our children partly because I just have not been able to get past the void I created. I wish you well on your journey of life and from your writings I can tell you are a woman of much greater wisdom than I have ever had.God Bless you,Linda DThanks, Linda. I'm not so sure of the over-whelming wisdom--several times a day, I think about the dumbest mistakes I have ever made; and there are many.Thanks for the vote of confidence and good luck to you as well.Sandra
Hi, my darling granddaughter left a year ago with her parents, brother and sister. I love all my grandchildren, but she was around me the most. She would come jump on my lap and give me the greatest hugs and kisses ever. I think that is what I mourned the most. I wrote practically word for word what you did, walking room from room etc. I even debated cleaning up the little crayon marks and fingerprints. They just visited for a week. It was exciting and my little grand-daughter is 4.5 yrs old now, she jumped out of the van and hopped at me with a huge smile. I cried when she left this time too, because the time is so precious and so short. They live 3 days away from me and I know they will grow and our relationship may not be the way it use to be. I guess I'm so appreciative to have had the time I did. I'm also glad others feel the way I do too.
More comments
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.