First Love---Some Survive, Some Fail
Posted: Saturday, March 07, 2009
by Sandra E. Graham
My Books and Articles
Have you ever thought of that first-true-love? The one that, for whatever reason, didn't make it to the altar. Or maybe didn't even make it beyond the initial introduction stage. What causes first loves to fail? I'm sure there are more reasons than one person could come up with, but more than likely, the most common would be that the feelings are one-sided. Actually, if the love was one-sided, then it really couldn't be categorized as true love. True love would be returned with equal levity; wouldn't you think?
Should that first true love show up at my door now, would I leave my life and family behind to rekindle that long lost affection? No. I think there is more than one type of love and I think first loves fall into a totally separate category from the love that endures the ages, the ups and downs-the ravages of life. My first true love will always have a special place in my heart, separate from the life and love that I have now.
Some might say that fifteen is an impressionable and vulnerable age for a person-girl or boy-but I didn't then and don't now feel that I was overly impressionable or vulnerable. I had always been emotionally mature for my age, worked hard at my education, and caused my parents very little grief-if any.
Melquiodez Lopez was his name. The most handsome man I had ever seen in my whole life. He born in Mexico, I in the United States. It was during the early 1960's that he came up with a multitude of migrant workers to work on my father's farm. He spoke not a word of English-I spoke no Spanish. I looked for him each morning when I came out with my brothers and sisters to go to the fields; he looked for me. We worked side by side, saying nothing; but smiling a lot. We touched hands. The feeling in my heart I couldn't explain at the time for, although mature in many ways, I knew nothing about love.
He wanted to take me away to Mexico when he left. (We established that through much sign language and not understood words). He didn't know I was only fifteen. The following day he left for Mexico alone. I gave him a copy of my sophomore picture. He kissed it and put it gently into his shirt pocket. Then he was gone. I didn't cry, not that day, where everyone could see. I don't remember when my heart finally stopped crying.
And life went on and I finally stopped thinking about him every minute, but I never stopped thinking about him at odd times and often over the last fifty years. He will always have a place in my heart and I pray that life has been good to him and he is well and happy.
We should never perceive guilt about feeling deeply for someone that passed through our lives and left us with a small part of their being and took a small part of ours. Love is something that should never be in short supply. I will always remember my first true love- the one that didn't survive-with the same depth of sentiment that once filled my fifteen-year-old heart all those years ago.
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Sandra E. Graham, author, AMOS JAKEY and NICOLINA published by American Book Publishing. Sandra loves to write about people and if you enjoy reading about people, you will love these books. Her first two novels are historical/adventure/fiction of early 1900's America. Sandra also writes book reviews for authors through Book Pleasures (no charge for reviews). Visit her website for more information on her books that are in print now and reviews she has written.
http://www.sandragraham-articles-books.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)Grandma,I read your lovestory and above all I enjoyed the openness about what happen to you so long ago, and your approach or interpretataion of it today.You may recall from my book; My first love was Turid, the girl I met in the boyshome in Norway, and like you I could never forget her or get her out of my mind.Regarding me these days it is not good, my marriage on the rocks, and the world tumbling down around me.So be well and thanks for sharing something that was, but never became.OlofOlaf. It is so good to hear from you again. But you don't sound happy. Give all your problems up in pray. They will go away. It may take time, but things will work out.Write more--getting things off your chest sometimes helps.God Bless you and be with you in your time of troubles.Sandra
Hi Sandra.This is very beautiful. It touched my heart deeply.DianneThanks so much, Dianne, for reading and commenting.Sandra
I just loved your wonderful heartfelt story. Thank you for sharing.Linda D.Thanks so much, Linda. Glad you enjoyed it.---Gosh, it's great to hear from someone as far away as Oregon!!Have a great week.Sandra
hi sandra,i know just what you mean.my first love and i began dating when we were 12 years old. back then, kids had parties at their homes, and we had the town close by with a big park we could spend time together in, and we went to each others' homes. we broke up at 19, and i was devastated. i spent the next 2 years trying to heal, with no other boys in my life.after 23 years, i wrote him a letter, and he was now single, as i was separated, and we have been together 24/7, ever since, 10 1/2 years.i know we are soulmates, and that God created us to be together, which isn't to say we don't come across problems, but there's a bond between first loves that keeps couples together longer, i believe, because of the intensity of feelings, and the comfort of believing you belong together.as a result, i do understand totally about different types of love. i was married and it was more of a brother sister type thing, because for all these years, my heart and soul has never belonged to anyone else but my first and only true love.thanks for sharing this story with us,my best to you,sueThanks, Sue. That's right, true love--whether first or last--it is the one that endures.Thanks for reading and commenting.Sandra
Dear Sandra,Thank you for such a wonderful article, such lucid expressions and language. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing your heart to all of us. "First love" are sometimes sweet and sometimes sour. Nevetheless, it is wonderful to fall in love.Thanks for a very nostalgic storywith regards,SwapnaThanks so much for reading and commenting, Swapna.Sandra
I really loved this article!Thanks for sharing!Thank you, Nila. Glad you enjoyed it and Welcome to SearchWarp.Sandra
It's fascinating how the human race grows up. Great story, Sandra, very touching.Thanks, Ken, for reading and commenting.Sandra
Sandra,How romantic and beautifully written. I like the fact that words did not need to be spoken.That could make for a great movie! Gosh, write it up and get it to Hollywood!NancyThanks so much Nancy for the kind words.Sandra
Sandra, I am so sorry I haven't had time to get to this sooner! I had seen it, but didn't want to rush through it. I am so glad I waited til I could relish every word. I got choked up on this one. What a great story. My daughter's first love remains fresh in her heart as she is only 20, but I know it will remain and take its proper place over time when she has a family of her own. I feel so blessed to have married my first love.Thanks for sharing your story with us, I am sure it brought back smiles to many and will continue to do so as others come across this article.Blessings to you! TeresaThanks so much, Teresa for reading and commenting on my article. Glad you enjoyed it.Have a great weekend.Sandra
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