Are Security Blankets Bad for Our Children?
Posted: Tuesday, January 20, 2009
by Sandra E. Graham
My Books and Articles
I know most of you are pretty tired of this scratchy old 78 RPM spinning around about her grandkids'. But when someone said we should write about what we are passionate about (or did he just say "write with passion"-there I go again, my memory just headed for the kitchen and another snack leaving me here staring blankly at my computer).
Oh, well, whatever he said, when it comes to talking about or writing about my grandchildren I can get my blood pressure rockin' and rollin'! Someone once told me, "we've all got kids and grandkids; talk about something else for God's sake!" So I did. I talked about God. Then someone else said they didn't find God under every stick or rock that they picked up and didn't want to hear any more. So, now after having my ears burn for two weeks over a prediction and prophesy' article, I decided to go back to safer ground and write about my favorite subject-kids.
My grandson spends two nights each week with us because his parents both work too late to get him out of bed and carry him home in the cold. And he has to be up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for school. Now, he has a special stuffed frog that has been his security blanket' since he was very tiny. He can not possibly sleep without it. The only place it didn't get to go with him was on the bus and to school.
One particular night he came over to spend the night and forgot his frog. After much crying, fussing, and stamping of little feet (mine not his), he was finally appeased after I had dug through every toy box (and there are many) in the house until I found a stuffed bunny rabbit (purple). As he went off to bed with the bunny-seemingly quite satisfied-he stopped at the door, turned back to me with a deep frown and firmly said, "But you just know that my favorite color is not purple!" I didn't dare laugh until he was out of the room.
Many children become strongly attached to a particular baby blanket or soft cuddly toy at a very young age. My grandson's frog had to be washed many times over the past four years and he would sometimes even stand in front of the washer and dryer worried that it might get hurt. I think, for all children, these items are just what they are-a form of security. And the need for that security isn't always apparent.
Some children feel more secure with their blanket or toy while their mother is away at work. It is a replacement for the security they feel deprived of while mother is not there. Sometimes this helps the child become more independent of their mother. Some children may need the comfort from a special item when they don't receive the attention that they require from their parents. But, there are children that just develop an attachment to a favorite blanket or toy for no particular reason. It doesn't have to mean that there are emotional issues involved. And I don't believe that this attachment should be a worry for most parents, as most children soon outgrow the attachment usually before or shortly after starting school.
I know that my grandson has gradually become less and less attached to his froggy, but now he has a favorite Teddy Bear that he got at the Build-A-Bear shop in the mall. It is a strange bear-white with green shamrocks and the voice of a monkey. Go figure! But he built it, so who am I to say it's strange? I think what attracts my grandson to these toys is the oh-so-soft fur. As a tiny baby, he loved to rub the softest stuffed animals against his face. Then he began chewing on the tags. When we removed the tags, he would have no more to do with that particular toy. By the time the frog received retirement, its tag was just a tattered string. He was ring bearer in a wedding when he was two--the rings had to be tied to the ribbon on his froggy's neck because he wouldn't carry the pillow or leave his froggy behind.
I think the biggest issue for children developing these types of attachments, is having a good relationship with their parents, siblings, grandparents, and others around them. And also to learn independence as they grow older. If everything else in their lives is normal, a security blanket should not become an issue.
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Sandra E. Graham, author, AMOS JAKEY and NICOLINA published by American Book Publishing. I also write book reviews for authors through Book Pleasures. Visit my website for more information on my books that are in print now and reviews I have written.
http://www.sandragraham-articles-books.com
My grandson spends two nights each week with us because his parents both work too late to get him out of bed and carry him home in the cold. And he has to be up at 6:00 a.m. to get ready for school. Now, he has a special stuffed frog that has been his security blanket' since he was very tiny. He can not possibly sleep without it. The only place it didn't get to go with him was on the bus and to school.
One particular night he came over to spend the night and forgot his frog. After much crying, fussing, and stamping of little feet (mine not his), he was finally appeased after I had dug through every toy box (and there are many) in the house until I found a stuffed bunny rabbit (purple). As he went off to bed with the bunny-seemingly quite satisfied-he stopped at the door, turned back to me with a deep frown and firmly said, "But you just know that my favorite color is not purple!" I didn't dare laugh until he was out of the room.
Many children become strongly attached to a particular baby blanket or soft cuddly toy at a very young age. My grandson's frog had to be washed many times over the past four years and he would sometimes even stand in front of the washer and dryer worried that it might get hurt. I think, for all children, these items are just what they are-a form of security. And the need for that security isn't always apparent.
Some children feel more secure with their blanket or toy while their mother is away at work. It is a replacement for the security they feel deprived of while mother is not there. Sometimes this helps the child become more independent of their mother. Some children may need the comfort from a special item when they don't receive the attention that they require from their parents. But, there are children that just develop an attachment to a favorite blanket or toy for no particular reason. It doesn't have to mean that there are emotional issues involved. And I don't believe that this attachment should be a worry for most parents, as most children soon outgrow the attachment usually before or shortly after starting school.
I know that my grandson has gradually become less and less attached to his froggy, but now he has a favorite Teddy Bear that he got at the Build-A-Bear shop in the mall. It is a strange bear-white with green shamrocks and the voice of a monkey. Go figure! But he built it, so who am I to say it's strange? I think what attracts my grandson to these toys is the oh-so-soft fur. As a tiny baby, he loved to rub the softest stuffed animals against his face. Then he began chewing on the tags. When we removed the tags, he would have no more to do with that particular toy. By the time the frog received retirement, its tag was just a tattered string. He was ring bearer in a wedding when he was two--the rings had to be tied to the ribbon on his froggy's neck because he wouldn't carry the pillow or leave his froggy behind.
I think the biggest issue for children developing these types of attachments, is having a good relationship with their parents, siblings, grandparents, and others around them. And also to learn independence as they grow older. If everything else in their lives is normal, a security blanket should not become an issue.
Sign up Now to be a SearchWarp author:
http://www.SearchWarp.com/Register.asp
Sandra E. Graham, author, AMOS JAKEY and NICOLINA published by American Book Publishing. I also write book reviews for authors through Book Pleasures. Visit my website for more information on my books that are in print now and reviews I have written.
http://www.sandragraham-articles-books.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Sandra, I think he looks precious carrying that frog down the aisle- so much more memorable than a pillow!As for me, I have three security blankets- my dog who's sitting on my lap (I'm his security blanket too), my hubby, oh yeah and anything chocolate! (WEll, I don't sleep with the chocolate) Stuffed frogs are easier to take care of so let the kiddies have their blankies!How true, Val. I think we all have our own security blankets. My monthly social security check is mine--I feel very secure when my bills are all paid--at least for the month.Have a great day and thanks for reading and commenting.Sandra
Sandra,A very entertaining write; informative as well. I agree with you on the most part of why children have these'security blankets'. But your statement about your grandsonand and his 'security blanket': "...The only place it didn't get to go with him was on the bus and to school..." leads me to feeling that if a child can go without a security blanket for any reason, there is a sign that it can be no security blanket at all.I enjoyed your story, thanks for sharing it with us.Thanks so much, Ronyae. Yes, since my grandson started pre-school ( a little early--he was still only 3), he has to leave his frog at home. We are hoping this will eventually ween him away from his stuffed animal buddies. He has now given up his frog in lieu of a green and white Teddy bear which he doesn't seem quite as attached to.Thanks for reading and have a great week.SandraI'm sure it will...it seems he has a thing for the color green. :)
My kid rearing days are somewhat behind me and I have no grandchildren right now (I can wait for a while) all I have to relate to are my dogs. I have found that my dogs share a blanket that I leave on the couch for them. They definintely prefer lying on thier blanket on the couch than on the couch without it. Is this considered their security blanket?Very good, Scott. I would say, yes, that blanket is definitely their security blanket!Our pets can mean as much to us as anyone.Thanks for reading and commenting.Sandra
I found the comment section of this article just as interesting as what you wrote. It's sounds like we never outgrow "security blankets" they just become more subtle.SueThat is so true, Sue. We all have a form of security blanket even though we don't realize it. Favorite hat, shirt, jewelry, jacket, pants---it could be anything.Thanks so much for reading and commenting.And Welcome to Searchwarp.Sandra
You sure did get a comment box full on that prophecy prediction so it is good to see you return to your own security blanket, the grandkids.For some reason this article left me thinking about that poor baby who was left with a sitter and would not stop crying so the lady threw her on the floor and fractured her skull. The toddler grabbed her "security blanket" curled up in a corner and died. It was so horrible but I think that even in death, we all try to find something comforting to hold onto. I would never think about trying to take something away from my child that gives them comfort, I may be wrong but I'm there mom and that's just how it's going to be.Sorry for the downer but your story brought out some suppressed emotions, which of course is the sign of a good writer. keep writing about those young'ens if that is what you're passionate about, I promise you will always have an audience for your stories.Thank you so much, Myla. I had never even thought of that about myself, but you are absolutely right---my grandchildren are no doubt my security blanket. You sound like such a sweet person; I appreciate your comments.Thanks again.Sandra
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