A Great-grandmother Remembered
Posted: Thursday, September 04, 2008
by Sandra E. Graham
My Books and Articles
My first memory of her was frightening, to say the least; she was the epitome of all children's scary dreams. My first caricature of a witch, hair long, gray and braided, but frizzy on top where it refused to be tamed into smooth tresses. I remember thinking she seemed not much taller than I. And her leathery skin was dark and wrinkled to depths that would have strained even the most imaginative artist. My fingers, with minds of their own, ached to reach out and touch the surface of her hand as she sat with it resting on the arm of her chair. Only fear kept my arms tightly clinched against my sides as the fright coursed through my veins to the rhythmic beating of my heart.
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My great-grandmother was a Choctaw Indian. I can't find words to express the feeling of some tremendous loss that envelops my heart as I think about that dear lady. If only I could have known her, what her life was like as a child, as a young woman, as a mother and grandmother---then as a great-grandmother. I daydream even now, thinking about what her life may have been like with her parents. Did they love her? Was she treated well? My fantasizing puts her in a tee-pee with mother, father, brothers and sisters sitting around a fire talking and laughing together. Maybe her mother holds a tiny baby wrapped in a fur blanket. But, that may be purely the stuff of dreams.
From what I have been reading and researching about her clan's background, they were more likely, by the time my great-grandmother was born, living in log style cabins. Apparently the Choctaw people were quick to pick up European traditions and habits in Arkansas and Oklahoma, after the Andrew Jackson-lead-government forced them from their Mississippi lands and homes. I have read that her people were the first to begin the ‘Trail of Tears' as early as 1830, which was later followed by numerous other tribes of Indians. This is one story most of us have heard or read about and many of us had family members that were apart of that tragic injustice.
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She smiled and she had no teeth-a smile that brightened her whole face and washed away completely the image that I had first had of a witch waiting to grab little girls and push them into an open oven to cook. A smile whose contagion forced up the corners of my own tiny mouth and eye-twinkles that matched her own. Reaching out for me with her opened arms, I felt no urge to run away; but allowed her to envelop me in the warmth of her thin embrace. No longer was I frightened of this tiny old lady. I remember feeling good as she held me close in her arms-love, that is what I now like to think it was; but again, I was too young to distinguish feelings. Good must mean a form of Love, does it not? Today I am proud to be-even a tiny fragment-of the great American heritage that is the true Native American. And double-fold, as my father was descended from the Cherokee Indians.
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Sandra E. Graham, author of AMOS JAKEY and NICOLINA, from American Book Publishing. I also write book reviews for Bookpleasures
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Great article, Sandra. Well written and with much sentiment. I would also loved to have met my great grand parents.Keep up the good work.DavidThanks for reading and commenting, David.Best wishes and please visit again.Sandra
Nice story Sandra,I often wonder of my own heritage and family. I too never met my great grandmother or really too many of my family members.God blessThank you for reading and commenting, Michelle. I would truly love to know more about my own ancestors. We have Irish, German, Australian, and Indian. Probably many more still farther back.Sandra
hi sandra,you lucky girl, i have always wanted to be a native american indian, or have ancestry of such. i think i was one in another life, if that happens. i have indian accessories in my bedroom. they remind me of peace, and simplicity, and suffering, and bravery. gentle souls who appreciate nature the way it was intended.thanks for sharing your thoughts,my best,sueThank you, Sue. I love having an American Native heritage, I just wish I could go back in time and visit my great-great grandparents and meet them in person.Sandra
Hi Sandra,I really enjoyed your article and the few recollections you have of your Great Grandmother. It's sad that memories fade over time and that we no longer seem to have as strong a link to our past as we use to. Once, knowing your family lineage was what made you who you were, and while I'm not a big fan of castes or being born to a role, I am a big fan of preserving the memories of those who came before us.My son is 17 months old and in a year or two I'd like to start a journal with him (we'll make it a fun family project) so that he can capture some of his early memories, the things that were important to him at that time, his perspective and views of the world around him. Perhaps if he enjoys it, he'll carry it on into later life with memoirs, diaries or some other written record that he can refer to, share and relive his memories with in later in life and of course pass on to his own children.Thanks for sharing your memories with us.Kind Regards,Ben.Great idea, Ben. I'm sure your son will grow up to appreciate it; I know I would have had my parents done something like that. All I have to go on are my own short memories. You are a great writer; do as I did and write books about your parents and grandparents. You will enjoy the writer as your family will enjoy the reading.Thanks for reading and commenting on my article.Sandra
Wonderful to have memories of family long gone. I wish I had known even my grandparents. I never knew any of my family. I was adopted and still don't know my biological family. But I love my 'true' family; the ones who raised me, more than life itself. I would not trade them for 'new memories'. I will just keep what I have of them and be happy--as I always have.Beautiful article, though. Good luck.C.E. of San AntonioThanks for reading and commenting, C. E. Glad you enjoyed the article.Best wishes.Sandra
Loved this article. Remembering family members is a wonderful thing.Thank you so much for such a nice article.Kaye.Thank you, Kaye. I'm so glad you liked the article. Hope to hear from you again soon.Sandra
Nice article. Love to read about people--especially historical people. I would love to have known my great and great-great grandparents.Thank you for reading and commenting, J.M. Glad you liked the article. Feel free to read all my articles on searchwarp. Come again soon.Sandra
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